Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
