is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
