Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
