did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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