Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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