Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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