Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
