have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
