This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
