I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
