You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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