Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
