he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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