You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
