My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
