Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My liver just broke up with me...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
