i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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