JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
