the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
