Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
