all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
