I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
