i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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