If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
