So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
