I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
