no, he came in my armpit
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
