i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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