I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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