i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
