Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
