I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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