For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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