Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the day after is always just damage control
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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