he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
