There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
