i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
