Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
