You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
