I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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