I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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