Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
