Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
