every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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