We're like a lot better than the average bears
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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