tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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