I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
