I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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