I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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