my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
