so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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