There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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